what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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