that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
