i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
