whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
