We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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