I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
