I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
