..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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