Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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