Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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