we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
zippers are such a cool invention
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
