so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize