Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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