You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
