Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
