Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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