Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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