FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
