Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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