yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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