oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize