you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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