Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
