Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
