I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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