Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
