she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
