I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
