Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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