You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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