pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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