i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
