the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
