I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
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