"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize