ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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