Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
