There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
