ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
