Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
