You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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