Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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