GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
