I am puke
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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