My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
