some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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