no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
