My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
