Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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