when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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