I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
