Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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