JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
