drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
