Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
