Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
