I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
