do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
