no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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