Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
