What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
