We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
