She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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