I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
