Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
