I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
